1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Barsexuality is the new black.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
