her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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