They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This is my gift to your gina
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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