I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
