I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
