Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
