Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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