I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
