yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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