So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
