Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
