We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
