pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
