she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
