It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
