i think my mom watched the whole time
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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