I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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