is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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