This beer is not sobering me up at all
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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