please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
