I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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