So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
