U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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