i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
