it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
