This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
zippers are such a cool invention
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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