How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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