And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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