I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
