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Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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