In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
