Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
