Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
