It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
