Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Farmville is her only friend.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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