not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You know, be my cock's hype man.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
