Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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