just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
