No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
