either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
