I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
