you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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