everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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