I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
