Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
