ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
