Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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