You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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