There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The beer is more important than you right now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
