Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
