every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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