I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
