just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
