So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
