I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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