ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
wanna go halves on a baby?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
