strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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